Rizhiner Hamelech

There is a famous story about R' Yisrael Rizhiner that when he would get to the words HAMELECH on Rosh Hashana morning he would faint. Asked why he fainted the Rebbe replied with a story from the gemara. "When R' Yochanan Ben Zakkai was smuggled out of Yerushalaim to meet Antoninus, he called Antoninus "Caeser", or King. Antoninus accused RYBZ of two counts of treason. One, that he called Antoninus king when the real king was in Rome. Two, Antoninus said, "If I am the King, what took you so long to get here?" With this in mind, the awesomeness of the realization that for two days, two hours, or two minutes, hashem is the king can be to great to bear at times. Particularly when one asks, "If Hashem is really the king, and I realize that now, What took me so long to get here?" This was R' Yisrael Rizhiner. Sometimes, this reality of hashem's kingship is fet differently. I find myself wondering at times, "So if Hashem is my father, and i'm his son what took him so long to get here?' This broken feeling leaves me with one overarching thought. A person is like a Kli-Cheres, a vessel made from earth. A kli cheres that becomes impure cannot be purified in a mikvah like other keilim. Shviratan hi Taharatan. Its breaking is its purification.( R' Weinberger pre slichos 5770).
The feeling that we need to be closer to Hashem or that he has abandoned us is real, but it is the most gevalt thing in the world because it is our purification. Like the Divrei Yisrael Says, when a person thinks he can't go on any longer, just hold on one more second and the yeshua is right there waiting. Azamra Leelokai Beodi, we want to sing to Hashem now and forever. If we just hold on B'Odi, just a little bit, that is the greatest song we can sing. Blessings of Tshuva, Tranquility and A Yankees World Series Victory.
Gmar Tov
Shanah Tovah

high hopes?

It seems that the Jets' search for a head coach has ended. If you are a jet fan, as i am, it's hard to really get excited about the prospect of the next up and coming head coaching prospect that will apparently take NY by storm. we've been here before. too many times. I think Rex Ryan is a good defensive coordinator, and a good coach. But undoubtedly his coaching success was helped in no small order by the presence of arguably the two best defensive players in football over the last decade, on his side of the field. it's not that hard to scheme when you've got Ray Lewis and Ed Reed anchoring the defense. Any defensive player on the Ravens must be terrified of making a mistake with the possibility of an angry and vengeful minded Ray Lewis (who pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter at one time) on the prowl. I'm not saying that Rex Ryan won't be great as a head coach, but for my money i would have rather made a push for Spagnolo. When you look at the jets personnel, Ryan will be hard pressed to find 2 players with the intensity of either Lewis or Reed. Kris Jenkins looked like someone who could anchor the defensive line for years to come, if the season were 9 games long, including playoffs and super bowl. Revis is a potentially great player, kerry rhodes is a solid defensive back. If Vilma was still a jet, Rex Ryan would have a pedigree similar to what he had in Baltimore. A freak of nature at middle linebacker, and a young star in the secondary with an nose for the ball. I guess Dustin Keller makes them more of a vertical threat on offense, although pass catching tight end seem to be a dime a dozen (see Celek of philadelphia, where did this guy come from? remember eljay smith?) I have no reason to think that Ryan will take the jets to the next level, which regrettably is once again, just making the playoffs. Spagnolo has consistently been able to make something out of nothing. Better said, he has overcome personal deficiencies and kept a really good product on the field. With or without favre, the Jets Quarterbacking situation is a disaster. They have no real deep receiveng threat. Coles is no longer a #1 receiver that scares defenses and favre couldn't get the ball down the field with accuracy by the end of the season anyway. All signs lead to the Jets needing to rely more heavily on their defense this coming year. Don't count on any 56 point performances out of Kellen Clemens. I think i'd take roger clemens at this point. the jets found themselves at 8-3 because of their ability to stop the run almost completely. After Jenkins realized who he was, that all changed. The run D dissappeared. I welcome Rex Ryan with open arms. If Arizona is in the superbowl, anything is possible. it's really lishma when there is no chance of winning.

Pin the tail on the donkey

My friend threw a birthday party for his 3 year old daughter. We went to the party. 3 three year olds, 3 children 1 or under and 6 parents. no clowns, no live band, just people who wanted to share a happy moment together in a warm quiet corner of an often cold and confusing world. The moms read books and played some games with the kids. The fathers discussed life and shared their outlooks on different things with eachother. How to raise emotionally healthy kids, how to remain normal and emotionally healthy ourselves, getting closer to Hashem in a healthy way. the usual birthday party banter. of course a little Bills-Jets trashtalking was thrown in for good measure. The jets are my team unfortunately. We argued over who has it worse. The kids had a blast. the greatest party in their young lives. The thing is, all day i was telling my son, Noam Elimelech that we were going to a birthday party for his best friend Michal. I kept telling him how great it was gonna be. How much i was looking forward to it and how it was gonna be great to be all together with good friends. Naturally, he got excited. There was a simplicity in the joy at this get-together. It was people who were happy to be together. Who felt blessed to have such support and love. For me, i learned a deep lesson from the children. Children are able to teach us what our developed "adult" sense of selves will not allow us to be taught. This is one of the miracles of having children. My Rebbe, Rav Moshe Weinberger says that when we give our kids gelt on chanuka we are saying to them, " all year i clothe you and feed you and teach you and hug you and support you. I am your source of life. You might think that you owe me something. The truth is, is that I owe you everything in my life." That is mamash the deepest. Everything we have, is all in the zchus of the children. They remind us of simplicity, of purity, of being joyous for no reason. (See Life is Beautiful if you haven't- the greatness isn't the game that the father comes up with, but the saving grace is the tmimus of the child). Our kids had the simplest joy at this party, because they were happy to be together, to be alive. They weren't thinking of all of the other birthday parties that they weren't invited to that night, or the parties that might have had a better band or better goodie bags. Kids are consumed by their own reality, they have blinders on. They aren't concerned with the other experiences that they might be missing out on. Because in truth, they don't matter. This is what the Mei Shiloach teaches in parshas Noach. The torah says we should live like ants, and this is strange. The Izbitzher (mei shiloach) teaches that if you watch an ant in a colony, he doesn't look at the other ants and compare his job to theirs. he doesn't stare at the queen and wonder why he's not the queen. he knows he'll never be the queen. an ant is content with his job in this world. without all ants thinking such thought, the ant kingdom as a hole will be compromised. I began to experience true contentment and equanimity when i stopped looking into other people's lives to try to determine my next move, or what was lacking in my own. Too often, the real moments that Hashem is blessing us with constantly flicker away among thoughts of what should be, or perhaps what might have been. Shabbos is about looking inward and finding that peace. Shabbos is the letters of Tshuva, to return inward and stop looking at others peoples lives as sources of inspiration. Perhaps that is the meaning of V'eleh Shmos- AND these are the names. The way we survived the exile in Egypt, which ultimately ends with moshiach, is that we never changed our names. we never forgot ourselves. We never stopped looking into our own lives, our own houses to guide us toward holiness. And perhaps this is why We Had Light while the Egyptians had darkness during that 9th plague. We had OHR Bmoshvotehem- we perceived the light of our own birthday party, and didn't allow it to become dimmed by the party with louder music and better cake down the street. 4/5 of the Jews never escaped the darkness. We should be blessed to banish the darkness of outward thinking, and social pressures, and be people of inner light and contentment remembering all the while, the we are Also names, we matter.

Inaugural Post

This idea of creating a blog has been on my mind for a long time. For many reasons, I didn't want to join facebook so this was the obvious choice. There are many people from different places in my life that i would like to continue sharing ideas with. friends, students etc... My distance physically and the time difference to the states, makes that process difficult at times. So this is my attempt at reconnecting with some, and maintaining connection with others. Here goes.

Just as an aside: anyone who knows me at all, understands the title of this blog. Reb Shlomo Carlebach zt"l was a master of phraseology. His descriptions were second to none. Plenty of people use his expressions, but he was the original. He simplified the most intense ideas, and made people feel like he was telling them a children's story. One of his classics was, "And this is mamash Deepest Depths." For whatever reason, this one stuck with me. so enjoy!